Where does the healer go when they need to be healed?
A short story:
The people will walk past the healer’s window and see the 'closed' sign. Notice their absence in the community. As a result, some will denounce them and their abilities. Some will become angry, solely focused on their own needs instead of realizing that if the healer leaves, it must be a serious thing. But there will be a few who walk by, notice the sign, and smile because they know the healer has gone to be healed and that the healer will indeed return, for there is always love work to be done. They will hold spiritual space for the healer. Offer love notes and poetry without expectation. They will be their best selves in their own lives and bloom in their own abilities. But what will make the people the happiest, is knowing that because the healer has made such a brave step by taking the time to honor themselves, the healer will return stronger than she ever was before, which surely benefits the entire world.
Have you ever given yourself all of what you’ve given to so many?
Do not allow life to force it. Make the choice to give your own medicine to you, again and again. First and foremost.
2024 is a year of healing.
While my own healing has always been paramount for me, this year of healing is one that I did not anticipate in the ways that I have had to pause and attend to multiple parts of myself. After collapsing in an airport in December, I have been on a journey that requires me to eliminate all things that do not encourage or support my healing and my wholeness. A journey encompassing emergency room visits and appointments with specialists with countless needles accessing my blood to determine the levels of the day and what is different about my cells. A journey of healing foods, supplements, prayer, meditation and accessing a wealth of other holistic healing modalities and support. A journey of trusting God, trusting myself, and trusting my body, that I will share more about next time.
In addition to my body, I have been healing my spirit from the harm it experienced in a relationship I ended last year. Some would call it a blessing to choose myself and walk away from a man without a broken heart, but what is it to have endured and survived behavior from a man that tore up your spirit? There is a depth of damage that often cannot be quantified but must immediately be treated with hypernourishment, the kind that is holistic.
A heart intact but a spirit torn.
Experiencing unwarrented cycles of being treated with contempt and emotional neglect again and again is a particular spiritual harm. Experiencing a man treat you harshly without remorse and his anger build at being held accountable while the public view of who is he is/his platform is the opposite can lead to psychological damage. I am grateful for the people in my life who saw, affirmed I wasn't crazy; I should've never been treated those ways, and surrounded me with love and emotional safety. In my recovering from that experience, I have mined deep wisdom regarding the dynamics of relationships, signs of covert dysfunctional people to be mindful of, what it means to truly honor my sacredness, and more that I will share in time, without fear or shame.
What happens in the spirit and in the body are connected.
I am learning new terms. Things about the body that I did not know before, or perhaps learned over 25 years ago and simply forgot lol. This part of the healing makes me excited. I am leaning into a resilience that makes my eyes wide with wonder. Yes, I AM RESILIENT! I exclaim daily, “my body is resilient, my body is whole, my body is resilient and healing is my home.” My spirit is resilient too. The torn parts of my spirit are being repaired. My cells are regenerating, my body is being repaired. The body and the spirit work in tandem for our greatest good.
While I have minimized my external engagement and am unsure of how often I will reappear in any online spaces, I do hope to return to substack this year with some consistency to share the wisdom I have been collecting on this recent iteration of recovering and creating, of releasing and entering the life experience I cherish and deserve. I will be back to share where exactly I’ve gone on the journey to heal, what it has encompassed, the tools and understanding that might be life giving and life saving for others.
If you are on a healing journey too, know that my prayers are with you.
Thank you all for reading, praying, and being here.
Grace and peace be with you always.