Abundant and Transformative August

Where I've been.

My last substack post was in July, a month in which I made a commitment to return to the art of writing, as I felt myself blooming in new ways and wanting to get back to the creative version of myself. a commitment I still hold to, but took the month of August for sabbath because I completed a series of big work projects, travel and attending to others, and finally got to shift into a time solely focused on tending to me.

I took time to myself. time to rest up. to renew my creative ability. took time to heal a broken heart and wounds from subtle jabs to my essence. I took time to fill up on love and laughter. to develop new memories on a day that once broke me. I breathed different. Gathered all of myself and showed up with new confidence. At the end of July, I randomly wrote that I would have a testimony of abundance and transformation by August 31st and August was a long and transformative month.

I took myself on a solo trip out of the country.
My first night, I slept outside on the balcony, right under the moon. 
One day, I lay on the balcony, naked, watching a storm cloud roll in. Nothing to do but that. Savoring the way the breeze felt against my skin. Skin that often don't see the sun. Skin that deserves to be free. Just cloud watching and breathing. Completely present.

I had no itinerary or intention but to go back and forth from the bed to the balcony, to eat, to dream and to dance to Beyonce's Renaissance. That's all. and damn, it felt good. My phone was off/on DND and I had no clue what day it was, for the most part, I was living outside of the world.

In between those things, I read Rev. Dr. Renita Weem's "What Matters Most" and worked through some of my Louise Hay pages focused on loving myself. 

I needed to be alone, with no responsibility or requirement to consider anything or anyone else outside of myself. I am a woman who cares for many, gives to many, pushed through many bouts of burnout to show up for a lot of folks the past few months. This was MY TIME to replenish and be restored. My time to do whatever the hell I wanted to do.

Every single day, I sat with the question: "what do you want?" and created a list that grew. I got clear on what is standing in the way of what I desire and meditated and released what is not in alignment.

I dressed up for my dinner reservations and sat and ate my food slowly. Savored every single bite with little dances and drank wine like it was the first time. I giggled. People watched me in awe. Look at this Black woman sitting alone, enjoying herself and not hiding it. Ah, yes. I am a self contained woman who delights in pleasing herself.

I felt incredible. I think it was inspiring for others to witness me in a state of joy and great peace. I felt so free and so safe. So beautiful and so powerful. My body, my nervous system, my spirit is grateful.

What happens when you love on yourself real good and affirm the abundance that exists in the world for you? When you focus on the dominant narratives of your life that emerge from that space? You become more attuned to experiencing it. Something within me could no longer tolerate thoughts and spaces that weren’t in alignment. Lessons I’d been grappling with and inner work suddenly started moving at a rapid speed. I felt proud of me. I felt proud of God and the unspoken, behind the scenes growth that many may never know about.

The dominant narrative of my life right now is, I am a free woman, a kind woman, a sacred woman who is kind to herself. A woman who pleases and loves herself as she should. A woman who does not settle. A woman who practices what she teaches because embodiment is the highest form of spirituality. A woman who lives in the now, not in the past, and not too tangled with the future, because she knows that all shall be well, for it is. I am a woman who is unafraid to evolve and create the life she desires, the life God is rooting for her to have. I am a woman collaborating with God to satisfy my soul 💯✨️

"Choice makers work with God in creating a soul satisfying life for themselves." - Rev. Dr. Renita Weems

I wonder what the dominant narrative is for your life right now? I’d love to hear it, but most importantly, I encourage you to journal about it for yourself, and ask the question “What do I want?” See what emerges.

I’ll be back later this week to share my theme for September (and maybe beyond September): having a clean heart.

You are loved.